So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
