so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
