8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize