By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
