I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
