Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
