yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
