I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
