On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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