just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
