You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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