it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
