Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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