Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Randomize
