I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
