found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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