If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
