He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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