They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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