Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i drank out of a bidet.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
