I'm sorry my penis didn't work
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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