your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
