you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
