My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
