wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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