i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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