I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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