you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
