she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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