Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
