She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
