id be glad to
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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