Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
