party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This is the high leading the old right now
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
