let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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