Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
