I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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