You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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