Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
