i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
