I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
