woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize