By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
