Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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