i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
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