And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize