i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
