last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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