Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
