I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
