You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
