Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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