the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
zippers are such a cool invention
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
