I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize