do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
"it" just moved
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
