I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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