someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
