My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
