sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
