i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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