I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
