You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
