im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Are my feet made of real feet?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I will be naked everywhere
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
