So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
How naked do you want me to be?
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