maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I have feelings that need drinking.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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