Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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