I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
